Ristretto questo sconosciuto…

As the saying goes, coffee drinking is an institution in Italy and, as with all other foods and drinks, there’s a whole set of implied rules that need to be followed. In true Italian spirit and as a coffee aficionado, it’s not surprising that when faced with serving manners in coffee houses around the globe, my heart suddenly beats faster. Something like…

1. Uno

They serve you a mini cappuccino when you specifically asked for a macchiato

2. Due

They serve you the croissant five minutes after you finished your coffee

3. Tre

You get a lukewarm coffee because the cup has been standing for ages on the counter waiting for someone to serve it to you

4. Quattro

They only have white sugar

5. Cinque

When you order a macchiato, they give you a puzzled look and ask you if you mean an espresso macchiato. And when they don’t ask, they bring you some bizarre caramel calorie bomb

6. Sei

Unless you’re in Italy, the way people pronounce macchiato (listen here) is very personalised, as if its pronunciation was up for interpretation… matcha-to anyone?

7. Sette

They market coffee like espresso, but they don’t have an espresso machine. So, after you’ve ordered (Read – too late), you realise that they’ve simply served you filter coffee in a small cup

8. Otto

They have a machine, but they simply don’t know how to use it. The espresso cup is full to the brim of coffee. They even spill some on the saucer while serving it to you

9. Nove

They bring you coffee assuming you don’t sugar it or forgetting sugar altogether and then they disappear at the speed of light. So, you have to get up and get sugar yourself. By the time you find it and get back to your seat, the coffee is no longer hot

10. Dieci

And as if the above wasn’t enough, they make a coffee martini without real coffee 😭